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War Against Humans
THE FOLLWING IS A DREAM SEQUENCE. IT IS FICTIONAL IN ANY WAY YOU CAN THINK OF. IT NEVER HAPPENED. DREAM SEQUENCE. The following documents an insane dream which poor old Explorer had after chomping on a poisnous mushroom in Freaker Mode. Prolougue Explorer staggered into his home, held up by Fred, Happyface and Barkjon. It had been a wild party, that's for sure, but it's not so often that an old friend gains Beauracrat status in another world! Explorer went into Freaker Mode mid-party and bit Professor Shroomsky. It turns out biting a poisonous mushroom is bad for you. Who would have thought it? "Oh... I hate cliches...." Explorer moaned, in pain from biting Shroomsky. "It's all right, Explorer. Just lay down." "Penguins sleep *cough* standing up." "I know that, but when you're sick, you need to lay down!" Barkjon helped Fred lay Explorer down on a soft couch, while Happyface placed a blanket over him, and gave him some hot soup and crackers for his nausea. "So," Happyface asked, "You really bit Professor Shroomsky?" "I think so... I pecked him, that's what he told me..." "What kind of mushroom was he again?" "Oooohhh........ ''Entoloma hochstetteri''..............." "O_O" Fred stated. Barkjon showed a look of surprise. "Those sorts of mushrooms mess with the mind." HF added. "He's a BLUE mushroom. There ain't a way that it couldn't." "What? *groans* Seriously..... what?" Explorer passes out. ---- Chapter 0ne: Chris' Revenge "Rise and shine, friend... wake up..." Explorer woke up. He was in Eastshield Hope Hospital. "Ooooohhhhhhhhhhh...... where am I?" Explorer's vision came to, and he saw Happyface and Fred standing by his side. A pretty nurse stood over him. "You're in Eastshield Hope Hospital. You bit a poisonous mushroom and began hallucinating soon after you passed out. After you started singing Aleph Null Hackers on the Wall for thirty minutes, everyone got worried and rushed you here." Explorer, now awake and back to normal, sat up. "Am I better?" "Yes. We had to do some surgery to remove the poisons, and you'll be fine as long as you keep that IV pole attached and upright. If you don't, you'll pass out when it falls, and wake up when it's standing." The nurse motioned to the pole and the little baggie that gave him medicine. 'So, I'm going to have to carry this with me everywhere..." "For the next seven days. Your lucky you're a penguin; if you didn't sleep standing up, you'd be bedridden for a week!" "I'm not breaking the COC?" "What?" Explorer stood up and removed his hospital gown. Keeping the bracelet on for authentication of that pole, he waddled out with his friend and his brother. "You were quite sick, there!" As they enetered the house later the day, Explorer recieved a fax from Christopher of NASA. Explorer Antics: :It has come to our attention that you have broken the Outer Space Treaty and the Antarctic Preservation Treaty of 1913 by launching spacecraft from Antarctica after we specifically told you not to. Now, I know you like penguins, but you should be aware that you are damaging their pristine environment of primitive non-complexity by living there. Who knows what your actions might have done to such simple creatures? :We are heading to the Antarctic immediantly and have already shut down every satallite launched by PASA. You will be apprehended for violating international vows and shall face a ten year sentence or more, depending on what you have done to the poor, preciously inferior penguins who need our protection from pollution. You have twenty four hours to gather your things and leave the icy continent. ::In your face Signed, ::::Christopher Scolese ---- Explorer gulped. They've been discovered! ---- Explorer's day was ruined. He went over to Happyface to make the day better. But more things came to haunt his day. "Hello Happyface!" "I'm not in the mood Explorer. Go away!" "What happned?" "Read THIS" Uh-oh. Those italics mean something bad is coming. ---- Happyface T. Smile :You kidnapped my father you stinky rotton piece of ritz!. His name was John Nickols! And you took him to the Antartica!!! I hired millions of people to come and put you in zoos! TALKING PENGUINS IN ZOOS!!!! IMAGINE THAT! ::You keep him in your lousy school, where little chicklings go inside of him!!! EWWWW. I'M GOING TO GET YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU LOUSY PIECE OF POWER-PUFF GIRLS! From, John Nickols Junior: 4 year old. ---- "Wow. That four year old can write." Happyface was playing with the IV Pole. "You can play with it just don't knock it ov-" Happyface knocked it over. Then he rollbacked it. "I'm going to hurt you!" Chapter Tw0: Da First Human Happyface was waiting with a small squad of soldiers for a human to arrive. "Sir! The scanners pick up a human sized object turning up on the beach!" "Must I say the obvious thing! BRING IT TO ME, BOI!" Happyface angrily exclaimed The human punched the officer and stood up. "The name is Bond. James Bond." Happyface went up to him, with a flipper on his right side, making the human think he has a gun. Bond looked at him. "Do I look like a fool? No, don't answer that, penguin. You FOOLISH penguins have no sense in fashion." He spat at Happyface. That was a mistake. Happyface was mad. And no one likes him when he's mad. Ask the puny burglar that tried to rob him. He turned green and prepared for an epic battle. Then Tails6000 came in. Bond looked at the yellow penguin. "What are you, some kind of bunny rabbit? Or are you yet another strange mutant." Tails took out a hot sauce machine gun. "Oh, its on." Tails began the epic fight, while Happyface happily munched on a burrito watching the fight. Tails punched Bond. Bond kicks Tails. Happyface punched both. Oh yes, sweet gravy, it was epic. Then Tails shot Bond with the hot sauce machine gun. Bond fled to the ships in the distance. "THE WAR HAS JUST BEGAN! PREPARE YOUR FORCES! ---- Tails, Happyface, Barkjon, Explorer, Shroomsky, and Fred all sat down at a Round Table. Happyface banged his boot on the table. "May the first Emergency Human Attack Prepareness Meeting come to a start." Explorer started the meeting. "Ok, first off, sorry about pecking you Shroomsky. And we all know that a human named James Bond attacked Happyface and Tails. I have already set up defense along the coast. However, Tails and a few planes scouted the air and spotted planes coming in. They only trsnport humans and one says Da Great Stephen Hawking resides in this plane. FEAR HIM! Barkjon spoke up. "Dorkugese tapped into a human website and saw their forces. I think we're doomed." Shroomsky was disappointed with his co-webmaster in another dimension. "My friend who is better than sliced bread, never lose hope." Mabel rammed the door open. "AHHH!!!! WHY IS HAPPYFACE IN HERE?" Tails was prepared for her, and threw a pan at her. "WHY??????" The radio in the middle of the table crackled. "This is General Speeddasher. Ninjas are ready." "''This is Coast Leader. We are go." "''Pwnage Squad is ready!" Fred spoke into the radio. "Ok, lets get a move on." ''Eye of the Tiger music starts now The group walked outside in slow-motion, with a wee bit of drama in the steps. Eye of the Tiger music stops now Everyone loaded their weapons. "LET'S DO THIZZ. ---- Speeddasher was looking at the planes nearing the shore. He spoke to the head ninja. "Soldier, prepare the best ninjas we have. The plane says Ninjas. I think we fight them." "Happyface? Do you read me?" "I can hear you. What's going on?" "Human ninjas." "Explorer here, go beat the waffles outta them." Speeddasher stood confidently on a hill of now, with his headband waving like a flag in the air. Then the human ninjas came. They were lightning fast! But Speeddasher was faster. Two ninjas came flying at Speeddasher. One with a running side-kick, one with a spinning-split kick. He blocked both and slapped them silly. He watched his other ninjas fight the humans. He taught them well. "Good job Ninjas. I'm proud to have served with you all today. Now let's get back to Tails and the others." Just then a lone man stepped towards Speeddasher. He had a goatee, and was in casual clothing. He gave and angry look at Speed, and his fist was about as big as a penguin's head. "My name is Chuck Norris. You injured two of my ninjas." Speed rolled his eyes and didn't seem to be intimidated by the human at all. "Ya so what if I did? They started it and we finished it." Chuck Norris growled as his face started getting red. "Oh yah! It's on now you puny penguin." "Bring it on piece of Whale Blubber." Chuck Norris and Speed starred each other in the eye. Both assumed a fighting stance, and human and penguin ninjas paused to watch the fight. "This'll be... Chuck Norris gave a huge punch sending Speed flying into the air. For a few seconds everyone looked up only to see Speed hit the ground and leave a 15 feet crater. The human laughed and gave a glory me stance. "Oh yah, what do ya say to that penguin." "I'm still thinkin about it, but I guess I'll find somethin," said a voice. Chuck Norris stood shocked and saw Speed climb out. He had a big bruse on his forehead and he was very shaky as he got up, but he managed to get back on his feet. "B-But, h-how did you??? "Wish I knew, but I'm happy anyways." Speed of coarse knew it was Mayor McFlapp who had helped him, but he didn't want to let a human know about him. All he did was smile, and gave the glory me stance very shakily. "Ain't that how you do it Chucky?" The Human just got even more angry, and his face started getting so red that you'd think it'd catch on fire like a Black Puffle. "THAT'S IT YOU PUNY PENGUIN! I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED BY SOME FLIGHTLESS BIRD!" The human charged towards him until the penguin beckoned him to stop. Speeddasher then stood still, and placed something on the ground. It was a rock. "ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS!" they shouted at the same time. Speeddasher threw a rock at Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris threw scissors at Speed. The rock broke the scissors, and knocked Chuck Norris unconcious. "You were saying?" The human ninjas looked at Chuck. "ATTACCCCKKKK!!!" one of them shouted. Alomost all 50 of them ran towards Speeddasher. Then all crowded and with one Gem, he sent them all into the air. Speeddasher walked towards the ocean, with unconcious bodies flying down to the ground. The other Ninjas were excited and ran towards the unconcious humans. "Don't torture them any more than we allready have fellow Ninjas. We've broken the COC numerous times allready on this strange place. Infact if it wern't for that our futures depended on this, I would've simply refused to fight." They all then stood back and bowed towards Speed, who bowed back. The Battle of the Ninjas was over. Chapter Thr33: Epic Battles and New Friends, and a Lost Friend Speeddasher was walking when Chuck Norris got up. "You penguin? You PWNED me? You are the forever master. I serve as your soldier." Speed smirked as he lent the human a flipper. Holding his two flippers together he gave a slight bow. "Um a.... "It is the custom of Ninjas to bow after a battle." Chuck Norris looked very astounded. Not knowing what else to do he bowed aswell. Speeddasher walked away, and passed the message to HF, Shroomsky, and Barkjon. ---- Tails was waiting on The Happyface State's coast. An army is behind him. James Bond and an army emerged from the water. "CAR!" Bond yelled. Tails whispered to the automobile expert. "Get me a fast car" Bond drove off as Tails, errrr, tailed him. "I GOT MYSELF A NEW WORST ENEMY!" Tails yelled. Both drivers put the car on autopilot. They got on the roofs of their cars. They were neck on neck. It was a fight on the roof top. Tails punched Bond like mad, until Bond sweeped his leg. "ARGH!" Tails almost fell off. Tails got back in, and so did Bond. THEY WERE HEADING TOWARDS A CLIFF! They both pressed a button and they turned into planes! Then the dogfight of the century began. ---- Explorer was watching in awe. He was in Mayor McFlapp's office, watching everything. It was his story, but he didn't want to be in every single scene. "Mayor, when its a battle scene, I will be watching from up here, ok?" "Ok, WOT!" ---- Tails was in trouble. Both wings were damaged, and Bond was coming in for the kill shot. "I got you now, young penguin!" Tails fired all missiles in a desperate attempt, and used the grappling gun to pull Bond to the missiles. He went soaring towards the ice-cold water. "YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME, YELLOW PENGUIN!" ---- "May the Second Emergency Human Attack Prepareness Meeting come to order!" Happyface declared. The usuals were at the meeting but new people joined them. Triskelle, Turtleheimer, Sensei, Rockhopper, and Bugzy joined them. Happyface watched everyone pull out a player card. "Okay, we'll start the meeting once everyone gets Rockhopper's new background!" Rockhopper chuckled. "Anyone up for "Rockhopper Says?" "NO!" Rockhopper shrunk back. Turtleheimer started the meeting. "We have won three battles in this War, and I am afraid more shall be coming. I recieved word that someone named Obama, Barack will be coming. Who wants to fight him?" Happyface raised his hand. "Okay. Big armies will be coming, so we must assemble a big army. Let us call it the RAH," Barkjon looked at him. "Rah?" "Resistance Against Humans." "OH....." ---- Fred was the sentry for the night. Then he heard a wheelchair approching. "Stephen Hawking." He muttered "Hello Fred. I chanllenge. Your choice." he said, in his computerized voice. "Pi." Fred said confidently. The two math nerds looked at each other. "3.141592653589793238462643383279502," they started chanting at the same time. ",884197169399375105820974944592307816406286." They continued until they hit the 999,999th digit. "36254...." Fred did amazing calculations in his head, and came up with his answer. 2''. Three humans with guns came up to Fred. "Wrong." They inserted a needle into Fred and put him into a ship. ---- Explorer was watching from the Mayor's office. "NO!!!!" He picked up the phone. "Triskelle? This is Explorer. You owe me a favor." Chapter F0ur: The Rescue Triskelle was on the water with his entire navy. He didn't want to be involved in this war, but Explorer told him it was a favor if he fought. He saw Fred's ship going towards a green land. ''"FIRE THE CANNONS!!!!" The gun fired and made a warning shot. Fred's boat turned around and pulled down its ramming ram. ---- Fred heard the cannon. Penguins saw the Antic and stared. How did he get captured? they wondered. Fred took out his triangle and began to start cutting. "THIS TRIANGLE IS STRONG ENOUGH TO CUT THROUGH METAL!" Antic fans began to take out their triangles and began to cut. ---- Triskelle boarded the enemy ship. He took out the water amulet and jumped into the water. Then a humongous water monster came out of the water. He saw Fred and the prisioners escape into the SS Atherny. Fred took a glance into the water monster's eyes. Instead Triskelle was there, with his eyes glowing white. He had unlocked the amulets true power. Triskelle hit the ship which immediately sunk it, and transformed into a penguin, falling unconscious. Fred carried him back to shore. ---- Triskelle awoke. "What...happened?" he asked. His amulet was glowing. Fred placed a blanket on him. "You passed out, after using the true power of your amulet." He pointed to the amulet. The amulet was stronger than people thought. Once Triskelle unleashes its power, then the other keepers can. ---- Fred and Triskelle walked towards the main land. Then Mabel was before them. She smirked. Triskelle sensed trouble. Then a human army turned up behind Mabel. "There they are," she yelled "GET THEM!!!!" Fred took out took battle triangles and Triskelle turned into the monster and the battle began. There were over one hundred of them. They fought more than one person at once. Fred was a great warrior. He cut a human. "THE ANGLE! THE ANGLE MAKES IT STING!!!" Triskelle was having troubles of his own. He summonded the other Keeper's amulets towards him, except for Luce's and Darktan. He wore four amulets:FIRE, AIR, WATER, AND EARTH. He used all of the elements against the humans and won the battle. He then sent the amulets back to their owners. ---- Explorer was happy his brother was saved. He got order's from Happyface, the General in charge of the war. He is intercepting enemy radio commands and sending them to Happyface. Then he got one. A PURPLE POMPUS PUFFLE IS ON OUR SIDE. Explorer muttered under his breath. "Mabel" ---- Happyface banged his flipper on the desk. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE LOST COMMUNICATION TO THE PWNAGE SQUAD?" The soldier whom he was talking to him shrunk back. "I do not know sir." The Pwange Squad was led by Bugzy, but in the last day, he couldn't communicate with them. He recieved a fax from Explorer. Mabel is on their side He loaded his gun and got a squad of soldiers. "Link, find Mabel and bring her to me." ---- Link had his flippers on fire, looking for Mabel. Then he found her. There was something wrong with her though. She had something around her neck. IT WAS THE ICE AMULET! Mabel transformed into a penguin the height of Link. Made completely of ice. She said in a distorted voice, "I stole it from my former-master. Like it?" Link snickered. Then he fell on the ground ROLFing. "I control fire Mabel. I can destroy you easily." he mocked. "Then do it" she taunted. Link fired a bolt of fire at her. It deflected off her. He tried and tried until he charged at her. He flew into the air his whole body on fire, and fell down to Mabel, like a meteor. There was a 50 ft thick crater. Mabel's ice penguin still stood, while Link was on his feet, ready for more. They charged at each other with tremendous speed. Then he took out a card-jitsu card. He played the Amulet of Ice blocker, which stopped the Amulet's power until the next day. He then dragged Mabel back to the HQ. Chapter F|v3: The Deranged CEO Meanwhile, the mysterious backpacker, Kwiksilver and his puffle, Sprocket, were blissfully unaware of the war, as they were exploring some ice caves. They sat around a campfire, toasting hot dogs. Suddenly, a sharp rasping noise was heard. A blue police box appeared behind Kwiksilver. He turned around in shock. The door swung open and a Sanity Human wearing a trenchcoat ran out and pelted towards Kwiksilver. "Doctor Hickory!" cried Kwiksilver, happily. The Doctor was not happy. "Kwiksilver!" he panted, "Look out! They're after me!" "Who-" Another rasping noise was heard and another blue phone box appeared. A short woman with a short haircut kicked open the doors, her face blazing angrily. "David!" she roared, "Get back here!" Kwiksilver shoved the hot dog into his satchel, scooped up Sprocket and ran after The Doctor. They ran through the ice caves, followed by the woman and a squad of executives with real guns "Who is this lady?" asked Kwiksilver. "Her name is Helen Boaden. She's apparently the CEO of this BBC company," the Doctor explained as they ran. "Helen claims I'm somebody called David Tennant, and she's trying to arrest me for taking props." "Props?" "She thinks the TARDIS is some prop for this Doctor Who TV series." The executives fired their guns, which knocked icicles into the ground. "Get them both!" screamed Helen Boaden, "David and the penguin! MUAHAHAHAHAAA!" ---- "What's all of the hub-bub?" ZapWire said as he peeked out the window. "Am I dreaming?" he said to himself. ZapWire drowsily get out, and puts a suit on. SPLAT! Pie went on his suit. "Now I'll have to get this washed!" "Hey, Laundromat penguin, could you wash this tuxedo?" "Sure thing Zap. 5 Fyro."" "Thank you." "HEY ZAPPY, HAVE YOU HEARD? HUMANS ARE INVADING ANTARCTICA!" A random penguin said. Another pie goes in the penguin's face. "WHAT?!? This calls for nerds!" A phone rings in Linus's house in Freezeland. "Hello?" Linus said, as he tied the phone cord around his flipper. "Hello, quick, this is Zap, I need a nerd army, can't talk much, war against those humans!" Linus is flabbergasted. "LET ME EMAIL EVERYONE! I'LL GET THE NERDS!" Linus frantically replied. ---- Link strode into Happyface's office. He took out a bag. Mabel was struggling in it. Happyface said, "Put her in jail." ---- Shroomsky was at the shore, waiting for a boat that looked like a giant pizza. Then a strange women jumped out. "Hi. I'm Rachel Ray. I'll make something that you think is delish." She took out cooking equipment "Oi! Mushroom. Come over here. I'm going to turn you into some salad." Shroomsky took out a pan. "Not without a frying pan, you won't." Rachel tried to get her pan back, but Shroomsky was just too fast. Shroomsky threw the pan at her. She fell unconscious. Shroomsky nudged her with his thingmajiger. "I think she is knocked out." "OH, YOU THINK!" shouted Explorer, who was in the narrator's office. ---- "Doctor! RUN! I'LL HOLD THEM OFF!" Kwiksilver clutched two Banana Blasters. He flicked back the arming mechanism, then fired. SPLAT! SPLAT! Two streams of melted banana flew out of the blaster and knocked two buisness executives and they flew backwards, crashing into an icy wall. Icicles fell down, trapping the humans. Kwiksilver ran on, to catch up with the Doctor. "We've got to lose them," he panted, "I'll use my PDA." Kwiksilver pulled out his PDA, tapped on it, then turned around to see what would happen. A large rip went through the wall, revealing a black, purpleish void. The executives screamed, and fell into the rip in time and space. Their screams ended as the rip sealed up. Kwiksilver and The Doctor kept running, with only the CEO in tow. Soon, they came to a wall. "I've got you now, David, and your penguin friend too," cackled Helen. She raised a rocket launcher to her shoulder. "Prepare to die." BANG! Kwiksilver fired first, firing a laughing template at the deranged CEO. Helen laughed and laughed, then was still, her laugh still etched on her face. Kwiksilver fell to his knees. "What have I done," he sobbed, "I killed a human!" The Doctor put his hand on Kwiksilver's shoulder, his face grim. "You did what came to you at the time," he said, "We would have died. What's done is done. Come, let's send her back to Britain." And so they did. But when they arrived, They had twenty guns pointing at their faces. "I arrest you for the murder of Helen Boaden," said a constable, "Come with me." Chapter 5|><: The Pwnage Squad Returns "All together!"Linus shouted to assemble the nerd army with ZW. "Master, what do you want us to PWN?" The nerds asked. "Beat the humans, ach!" Linus said in his Freezelandian accent. The nerds quickly grabbed pie tanks and when off to beat the humans, mostly nerds against nerds. "WINDOWS IS BETTER THAN PENGUIN OS!" A human nerd shouted. OH NO IT ISN'T!" A another nerd shouted. ---- A giant blimp appeared in the horizon. "FREE SOFTWARE NERDS, UNITE!" A sanity human with a long beard shouted. "The blimp that Cory lent is great Richard!" Another human shouted. "Dock toward that Linus." The other human pointed at Frostborough. "We got a date with friends of your mascot." ---- As the nerds were fighting, the blimp appeared at the north coast. "USE YOUR DISCS!" The human Linus said. "LINUX IS BETTER THAN Windows!" "Linux?" ZapWire said, puzzled. "It's probably not as good at Penguin OS." "Let me have a look." Linus said. "So?" "IT'S NOTHING BUT A SHODDY PARODY!" The nerds dropped part of beak way down. They couldn't believe it! "Penguin OS has a hybrid kernel!" "Hybrid and micro kernels are marketing crud." Linus said. "I managed to draw with ast, but if we didn't draw, I would win. Monolithic kernels FTW!" "Wow, Zap and that human Linus sure are fighting about kernels." A nerd said. "FREEDOM FROM CAPITALIST NERDS!" Richard shouted. Mayor McFlapp was in the office. "Time for a bally twist, wot wot." ---- Bugzy emegred from the water, with the Pwnage Squad behind him. The Pwnage Squad has returned. Then humans emerged from the ocean. "Hello foolish weird beetle things. We are the Ownage Squad. We are here to own you!" Bugzy took out his banhammer. "You will do no such thing." The two leaders jumped at each other, Bugzy using his banhammer, the human using a machete. Then they began to swashbuckle. Both of their weapons turned into swords. Of course, Bugzy knew it was Mayor McFlapp. Bugzy jumped to the highest building. The human followed. They were sword-fighting better than Rockhopper! Bugzy, who was being very lazy, finally unleashed his pwnage. He kicked the human, who fell to the ground. The human broke his legs and cried out in pain. Then, Mayor McFlapp used the awesome narrator powers to give Bugzy a boulder. "Where did that boudler come from?" the human thought. Bugzy waved good-bye to the human, and pushed the boulder down, crushing the human. Chapter 53v3n: Headbangers! Meanwhile, in a place humans call the "UK", several musicians were trying to capture the penguins, or at least enslave them. "SALUTE!" A human shouted. The humans made an odd gesture. "Now as you know, Penguins are taking over the world. Or at least in war." The human said. He flipped a blackboard with blueprints. The human took his bass and pointed it at plans for a giant robot. "Enter the Painkiller." The human said. "This baby will either make penguins our Powerslaves or capture them." "Any questions?" A human raised his hand. "Yes Glenn?" "Who controls this?" The human asked. "Whoever can grab this rare one-sided Killed by Death vinyl first." The human threw the vinyl. A human named Lemmy got the track. "Yes, my own song!" "Let's take it on the Ed Force One." ---- An airplane landed somewhere in South Pole City. A giant robot riding a motorcycle came out of the plane. It stood up and played a really loud guitar. The penguins were controlled by the robot like headcrabs. "Hail hail the Painkiller." The penguins said like robots. The painkiller played a power chord, pointing toward uncontrolled penguins. The controlled grabbed OxiPies and hurled them. ---- Meanwhile, a group of Northern Kanta Penguins from the Northern Moraine were watching the robot enslave dozens of penguins from a distance, with looks of anger and disdraught on their faces. "Soaring Tern, do you see how offensive that music is to our culture?" One of them said to the most intimidating-looking one of the group. "Yes, Molten Owl." Soaring Tern Responded. "Sleeping Bear, pass me my fishbow." A small, green Northern Kanta Penguin took out a crossbow with a grey fish in place of the arrow from his bag, and passed it to Soaring Tern. Soaring Tern aimed the fishbow at the Painkiller, and fired. The Painkiller, concerntrating more on taking control of penguins, only just noticed the fish that was flying towards it a few seconds before impact. The fish hit the Painkiller right on the forehead. A crack started to form on the Painkiller's head, starting from a hardly noticeable crack to a crack that covered the entire noggin. That was when the head shattered into millions of tiny pieces of metal. The body of the Painkiller toppled onto his back, destroying a recently closed down Burger Khan, which blew up, but nothing was hurt. The enslaved penguins suddenly came back to their senses. They were slightly confused at first, but when they saw the remains of the Painkiller, they knew they were just saved from certain doom. "Nice shot, Soaring Tern." Molten Owl said in a somewhat glad tone. ---- Link dragged Mabel back to Happyface. "LET GO OF ME! DON'T MAKE ME SHOUT SYMBOLS AT YOU!" she yelled. Link threw Mabel at Happyface. Happyface threw Mabel in prision, where Manny Peng was her leader. "Okwe, ploopy! Me gone teach you how me speak!" Mabel lifted her head. NOOOOOOOOO ---- Happyface caught her. ---- Meanwhile, the Painkiller's motorcycle, the "Metal Monster" flew across the planet, eventually landing in the Bureau office, right on Benny's chair. "WHY DID I EVEN APPROVE THAT!?!" Benny shouted. The Metal Monster was stuck. Benny can't sit in it, it's wheels are razorblades after all. The musicians came to the office, grabbed the Metal Monster, stacked each up in it, then went back to their plane. ---- The sun shown over a cactus filled desert. You'd expect to see nothing, but strangely two figures were walking through that wasteland. It was none other than Metal Explorer, and Manny Peng. "Mwaybe we swouldn't hwave excwepted thwis mwisson fwom hwis mwagesty," said Manny Peng as he was panting. Metal Explorer growled as his fan attacthment stopped working. "YA THINK!" Manny Peng whined as he hit the ground. "WOO PLOOPY! ME NOT GWOING ANYWHERE WITH WOO!" The robot rolled his eyes. "Allright then." Metal Explorer walked away and Manny screamed. "Woo not gonna weave me awone here are woo?" Manny quickly ran to catch up to the robot. Just then they saw sign infront of them. It had some words on it, and it had an arrow that pointed north. "Wat it sway?" Metal Explorer used his extending legs to read the sign. "You are now approaching Area 51. Hey, maybe they have air conditioning there." "Wa! Wet's gwo!" Metal Explorer was tempted argue, but all he wanted to do right now was get air conditioning. So grabbing Manny by the flipper, he ran down the path to were this Area 51 was supposed to be. ---- The humans regrouped at the edge of a Deletion Missile. "What is it?" the human named Obama asked. A ninja who was guarding him said, "It's some sort of nuclear missile" "Well, whatever it is, launch it at the center of their operations." The launch began in 5 seconds, and soon, it was launched towards South Pole City, where the whole place was working. BOOM Chapter 3|ghT: The RAH Falls Only a few penguins survived the Massive Deletion attack. Explorer, Mayor McFlapp, Fred, Happyface, Turtleheimer, Shroomsky, The Pwnage Squad, Tails, Barkjon, Sensei, G's Family, Speeddasher and his ninjas, and half of The Mountain Spartans survived. The only state that survived was Freezeland. All of them regrouped at a secret undisclosed location. Triskelle kicked his desk over. Tails punched the wall. Speeddasher threw his sword at the wall. But no one was as mad as Gary. Gary was sobbing. "I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS MESS!" He spilled the beans. Turns out he gave them the password to the launch sequence, as long as they didn't hurt his family. Barkjon smirked. "Funny, I suspected Director Benny." Happyface whacked his head. Among the deleted was Director Benny(no one cried), Billybob, Rockhopper, and most shocking, Penghis Khan. ---- Metal Explorer and Manny Peng were walking through Area 51, and suprisingly hadn't been noticed yet. Manny was very thirsty and began to cry. "Mwe want dwink. Woo said wey would hwave dwinks hwere woo pwoopy!" Metal Explorer slapped the loonie, and his right hand turned into a deletion gun. "I'm not bluffing Manny. Either you shut your mouth or I'll send you to the Deletion Log!" Manny shivered and quickly grabbed the robot's leg. Metal Explorer simply rolled his eyes and continued walking. Just then the robot felt something touch the back of his head. He turned around to see a whole bunch of humans armed with military weapons. "Stick your hands up whatever you are and remove any weapons you may be carrying!" Manny screamed and started sucking on his flipper. Metal Explorer however wasn't intimidated at all. He simply turned his hand into a gun and aimed it at the humans. "I suggest you lift your hands up humans. Or else I'll fire." Then humans quickly dropped their weapons and ran away. Metal Explorer then ran the other direction to a building that read "Aircrafts". "Maybe we can find some sort of vehicle to get out of this place." "But what abwout mwy dwink?" "We'll get it later you worthless penguin. For now we gotta get out of here." All of a sudden, Metal Explorer ran into a large metal object. He got back up to see that it was some sort of Space Aircraft. "Come on Manny. We'll escape in this." Manny nodded his head and the two ran into the aircraft. Quickly they turned it on and they took off at the speed of light. In just a few seconds they were out of Area 51, and they took off to another part of the world. ---- The population of Skydale were with open mouths as they watched a news coverage on the mass deletion attack. "Because of this attack, many penguins now no longer exsist. This is Wanda Wy signing out." In Holo-Bob's Shopping Dash, Tidalwave11, Yalondo Yinchanva, Ttamorules and Sensei Wraith were watching in shock, when one of them cut the silence. "We got to do something!" Ttamorules shouted! "But what?" Tidalwave11 asked. It seemed there was no hope. "Don't you have rights to board any airshop you like?" "Of course! I know what to do now! Follow me!" The four waddled off. sometime later, more smaller airships were being launched from the ship, that were intended to search for signs of life. They soon arrived at the USA, and began to slowly search around the streets. "Alpha-B, this is Beta-D." A pilot said over radio. "Have you found anyone yet?" "No, I think we should ask Delta-A." A pilot from another airship responded. "Delta-A, have you found anyone yet?" "I can see something heading towards us." A pilot from Delta-A concluded."I think it's a- OH NO! ARG-BZZZZZZZZZZZ" "We've lost contact with Delta-A!" Tidalwave and the others, who were in Alpha-B, gasped with horror. Chapter N1N3: Revenge “All ready?” Triskelle yelled over to his commander “On your mark.” Was the reply he heard. The war ravaged on as Triskelle and his army marched into the battle field. All you could hear for miles was the sound of deletion missiles zooming over the sky. Carter suddenly came up through the ground. “You’re needed in needed in the C section.” “Ok.” Triskelle said As his troops marched on a giant Irish potato fell out of the sky! He started talking gibberish as Triskelle took out his sword and said “You’re on!” the Potato that called himself Tayto said. They started swashbuckling, the sound of clanging metal rung through the air. Suddenly Triskelle was down! No one could believe it! Randomly, Dan walked up. “I finally get to use this rollback remote!” Was all he had to say He pressed a button and heard “ROLLBACKING LAST EDIT BY L. CARRION TO LAST VERSION BY MAYOR MCFLAPP” ON OCT. 14, 2009… NOW ROLLEDBACK. THANK YOU FOR USING ROLLBACK REMOTE 2331 IN UNIVERSE #133713 (CLUB PENGUIN FANON) As his troops marched on a giant Irish potato fell out of the sky! He started talking gibberish as Triskelle took out his sword and said “You’re on!” the Potato called himself Tayto. They started swashbuckling, the sound of clanging metal rung through the air. Dan turned to the nearest wall and said “Mayor, care to change that?” Suddenly, the potato was on the ground! And Triskelle won! We were eating French fries tonight! Then, Explorer said to the Mayor “Isn’t that against the COC? --- The Third meeting of the RAH began. HF proposed to find the legendary Restore Button, which was buried deep under the Underworld, guarded by anyone and anything. "ARE YOU CRAZY?!? Everyone who tried to reach it have died!!! AND THE MASTERS REFUSE TO TELEPORT US THERE!" Explorer shouted. "That's where we come in." A robotic voice said. It was none other than Iron Walrus, and the rest of The Defenders. They volunteered to find it,and McFlapp gave them the coordinates and nothing more. ---- '''ZAP' The Defenders suddenly appeared in mid-air an fell to the ground. Ouch. As the gloried figures got up from theground and brushed themselves off, Arachnid Boy noticed something. They were standing on thin ice. Cracked thin ice. CRACK The ice broke, and they started to descend, none of them able to fly due to surprise. They were too scared to fly. They finally ht the ground, and a golden door was before them. On it, there was the Antics Family Logo on it. It became clear, that one of the Antics built this. "Stand back." commanded Thorn the Tern. With his mighty sickle, he blasted the door open with fire and wind combined. The door opened, but then the almighty defenders of the Button attacked. But they were no match for The Defenders. Arachnid Boy webbed them up, and Iron Walrus blasted them, while PWN Machine shot them with a hot sauce machine gun. They moved on. Then, they reached the door, and a voice spoke. The Defenders murmured, they had one minute to decide, but then Shadow Guy spoke up. "I'll do it. I'm just an amateur. Take me." SG said.\ "NOOOOO!!!" Gamma Gal shouted. Doctor Logic reached out to stop SG, but the voice spoke. In a flash of light, Shadow Guy was gone. Everyone was silent, but Gamma Gal broke it with her silent sobbing. Captain Antarctica bowed his head for his fallen comrade. Just then, another bright light shone around the room. The light focused to show something similar to Shadow Guy's head. Then the rest of his body appeared. Shadow Guy gasped and ran forward to hug his sister. The door slid open, and FutureSeeker saw the future. Shadow Guy had to press the button. No one else could, or everyone would be deleted. The team walked forward, and prepared to face another conflict. ---- The remaining penguins were split up in the ruins of Antarctica. The Troublesome Trio, honorary members and all, were placed in the ruins of the coastal city of Shedi Coast, where humans land. Bugzy and the UPM were placed in South Pole City, where the humans have set up shop. The CPW Gang(Hat Pop, Frenley, Snowman, etc etc) based themselves in theruins of CPW, making Virrex's and Robbsi's Usapajez a fortress, snce they are the biggest. Speeddaher and his ninjas based themselves in the abandoned igloos in CP, whre the ninjas and the President live. The real war against humans has just begun. Chapter tE|\|: One Month Later The Defenders have been searching for the restoration button for a month now. The Resistance has done minor, unplanned attacks on the humans, which sometimes ends up in even more causalulaties. The humans have rebuilt Antarctica, so that humans can colonize it. ---- Want to know the end of the story quick? O RLY? Good-just click here. ---- However, missles came flying over and destroyed the humans. The penguins were saved, though the ice sank, but Explorer woke up at that moment. Category:Stories Category:Humans Category:Conflicts